not important but curious and awake

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Wow its 23:53 and tumblr got me inspired and excited about life again… Its just that love is something fragile and i am too right now and i just cant afford to be broken again… I cant have people toy with my emotions anymore. I dont want to spend energy and time on someone whos up to no good in the first place, he or she might even know things will get ugly… How can i know they are pure and like me for who i am. How can i make sure they like me for me, all that i am. Because apparently my mask is big and when i dont show it enough, people might think i am something else. Less strong, selfasure and all the good things. I might even believe them and they break me. I buuld nyself up again and create art, art thats coming from my soul. You cant fake loss, sadness, pain in this level. You also cant fake love. When you see me in my work, but most important when you see yourself or compare yourself to it, youre interacting with my work. Youre spending time on a part of yourself instead of society these days; money and politics, western people with their thoughts of hate. Nobody has time, we communicate fast and always carry our phone in our hands. Nothing makes sense anymore, we should play more. Be serious about fun. Art never makes sense until you’re living it. I also want to be an artwork, always have wanted this.. I want to create a fantasy where we can escape to but also learn from and get a boost to get back to reality. Like I’m teaching you implicit what spirituality is and how one can achieve it. Its not something you buy or got to make time for.. Its something that you own: your mind, your self. I learn a lot about behaviour and i want to see less judging. Have some fun but do it right.
Its now 00:08 and tomorrow i think im going to the city to make some art there. :)

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Emotional pain sucks. You just ache all the time. It’s not Iike a cold where you can predict when it will pass. You can’t take a painkiller to ease it. It’s just there. All the damn time. Sometimes you get distracted and forget, until something triggers it. Sucks.

(via ohpriya)